Thursday, March 5, 2009

What to Say When...

I'm giving a talk tonight at the Rio Grande ward's enrichment meeting (Henderson, Nevada) and I thought I'd share an important thought with you all.

We all want to help our friends in crisis, but we often wonder how to go about it.

There are three steps to working through a crisis (death in the family, diagnosis of a serious disease, etc.). The person needs to:

Talk about what happened
Talk about how he/she feels about what happened
Talk about what he/she plans to do about what happened

Notice I said, Talk, Talk, Talk. What does that tell you about your role as a friend? You must Listen, Listen, Listen! God gave you two ears and one mouth. Use them proportionately.

Listen even if it's the same story over and over. Don't avoid your friend because you don't want to hear anymore. The fact that they are still talking about it means they still NEED to talk about it.
What people want is just to know that someone cares. Your role is not to solve your friend's problems. What is needed from you is a sympathetic ear and small acts of kindness.
(for how to help with specific problems, go to my free online book: )

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