Nobody Cares What This Old Geezer Thinks . . . . . . . . I LOVE getting comments from strangers!
The measure of a man is his character, not his credit score. --Dr. Laura
Masquerading as a normal person day after day gets exhausting. - - anonymous
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.
--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts
To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."
--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.
--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.
--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts
Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the room talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books. --Jack Handy Deep Thoughts
--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts
Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.
--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts
If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like now.
--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts
Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.
--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts
“People are like sticks of dynamite, the power is on the inside, but nothing happens until the fuse gets lit.”
- -Mac Anderson
